Everyday Tourist Rant: Keep Calgary Quirky
Forget the “Blue Sky City!” Forget Stampede City!” Forget “Be part of the energy!” Calgary’s motto should be “Keep Calgary Quirky!”
How fun would it be to live, play and work in a quirky city? We already have lots of quirky things we can promote. Think the “giant blue ring” on the side of a road near the airport that kinda looks like a huge engagement ring with a tiny diamond. And what about the big White Head on the plaza of the Bow office tower shaped a bit like a banana downtown. And let’s not forget the two bobbing tubby sculptures in front of our Central Library.
Head out to the suburbs and you will find aa quirky purple balloon dog in Seton. Kensington does the funky chicken on 14th Street in front of Chicken On The Way. Our colourful Lego-like Children’s Hospital designed in consultation with children is definitely quirky too.
How about our quirky festivals. The “High Performance Rodeo” which in neither a rodeo, nor Formula One car race, but a theatre festival, where I expect more than one performer is “high.” I think Bottlescrew Bills still has their annual Testical Festival – enough said! And the Sled Island music festival doesn’t happen in the winter or on an island, but is a spring music festival in the city centre. But the “Block Heater” music festival does happen in the middle of winter as the name would suggest.
And what about “BUMP” a quirky acronym for “Beltline Urban Mural Project” which has populated Calgary’s city centre with100+ murals. And back in the year 2000, Calgary’s downtown was invaded by 100+ colourful cows in what was called the “Udderly Art” project. Today can still find 10+ quirky cows in the Udderly Art Pasture in the +15 hallway of the Centennial Parkade.
I am sure newcomers to Calgary find it quirky that our freeways are called “trails,” and that drivers routinely stop to let pedestrians cross the road. And what about their quirky names “Crowfoot Trail” and “Deerfoot Trail.” Does the city have foot fetish? And “Shaganappi Trail” has a quirky inuendo.
Calgary is a young city without a lot of history, so we just create some quirky history artifacts, like the rock formation in Strathcona Park near the Olympic Heights School, that dates back to the early 1980s when the developer wanted to create a unique sense of place. Thinking this was a good idea the developer of Nolan Hills created the ruins of a castle that never existed at the entrance to the new community founded in 2011. FYI: There is a Nolan Castle in Ireland - and yes, it is in ruins.
And what about our +15 bridges, a quirky name for what are called skybridges or skywalks in most cities. A definite nod to Calgary being the “engineering capital” of Canada, which means no sexy names, we must be practical and call them what they are - bridges that are 15 feet above ground.
It is also quirky that our LRT (aka Little Ralph’s Train) is anything but rapid as it passes through downtown. Sometimes I think you can walk faster.
It is kinda odd that Calgary is blasted by urbanist for its low density development, yet our city centre is one of the densest in North America. It is also ironic that a car dependent city also had one of the world’s most extensive pathway networks for cyclists, runners and walkers. Yep over 1,000 km of pathways. And one of the busiest LRTs in North America.
Some might find it quirky Calgary has not one but two of the largest urban parks in Canada - Fish Creek Park and Nose Hill Park. But then, we pride ourselves on being over achievers.
Did you know Calgary is home to The Masters? No, not the golf tournament but a prestigious international horse jumping competition at Spruce Meadows.
I bet visitors to Calgary find it quirky that our two rivers have basically the same name – The Bow River and the Elbow River. Speaking of the Elbow River, did you know it has a “wandering island” next to the bridge linking Mission with Roxboro, with some funky public art, including chairs disguised as wheelbarrows. They are fun to look at but very uncomfortable to sit in.
What about our quirky community names? “New Haven” is neither new nor a haven. Calgary’s Tuscany has no vineyards like the real Tuscany in Italy. I don’t think it even has a public wine bar or even an upscale wine store. And Lakeview doesn’t have a lake or a view. And I find it quirky there is no forest in “Forest Lawn.” Don’t think there ever was. And there is a new community called “Nostalgia.” I am not making this stuff up.
Calgary is also home to some unexpected bronze sculptures. Why is there a sculpture of Robert the Bruce, a 14th century Scottish King at the Jubilee Theatre? And why do we have two sculptures of General Wolfe, a British soldier who fought the French in the 1759 in Quebec City but never visited Canada. And for some strange reason, we have two sculptures of the famous Dutch artist, Vincent Van Gogh. None of these guys have anything to do with Calgary.
We have a quirky red pedestrian bridge that looks more like an above ground tunnel, that was given the name “Peace Bridge” but only after it caused a huge “bruhaha” first due to its huge price tag and then when it got here all of the welds were wrong and had to redone. And many were up in arms because it was designed by some guy in Spain when we have perfectly good engineers who could have designed it better and cheaper living in Calgary.
Here's a fun quirk. You’d think that in 1904, when the city began dividing itself into quadrants with street numbers, that Centre Street and Centre Avenue would meet somewhere in the middle of downtown. But they don’t. In fact, there is no Centre Street / Centre Avenue intersection. Given our street orientation they theoretically would meet in the middle of the historic Centre Street bridge. How quirky is that?
Perhaps one of the quirkiest things about Calgary is our postcard skyline with the Saddledome arena in the foreground featured on Hockey Night In Canada. Its roof-shaped like a huge saddle, hence the name “Saddledome,” perfectly cradles the downtown office towers and beautiful sunsets. Unfortunately, it will soon be demolished in favour or a generic box called “Scotia Place.” How sad it that.
Enough said – let’s keep Calgary quirky!
